Dashboard light

I heard that song today. Remember the song from Meatloaf? I know that totally dates me and all. I was sitting in my car during my lunch break today. As usual it was very cold and I did not feel like standing under the shelter they provide at work. It is an overhang off the side of the building and most of it is protected from the harsh winds up here by the monster piles of snow. I work in Wilton Maine and the weather can be brutal to say the very least. Most of us brave the elements all year round for our treasured breaks by breaking free outdoors to smoke our homemade cigarettes. The tax up here is very expensive and most of us buy the tobacco at the local Tobacco store and have machines and make them at home. That is one of my very few luxuries. Most of my income goes to my daughters and our cherished farm nestled deep in the mountains of western Maine. We all work at a company and most of us are licensed brokers though due to the economy here, our lives are pretty rugged. We are toughened by the harsh climate and laugh about many things outside on those breaks. I always wear hats made from my farm from my own sheep. They definitely are perfect for the frigid weather. We face each other braving whatever forces of nature that surround us in our escape from the demands of life here in Maine. Our smiles are weather-beaten and forged in camaraderie as we reach out for the warmth of each other's hardships outside of work and the economy as it reaches each and every one of us. After letting those in to our lives for those brief moments we stamp out the mark of our conversation and trek back inside to the warmth of our coworkers in our tiny cubicles. We all smile softly each day as our badges still work to let us in the building and crack jokes about the Staples boxes that have led our missed and less fortunate coworkers away. Yet for those moments and when we return to our cubicles-we can forget about the troubles that we work hard for. Our laughter and shared jokes make it worth the commute in through the mountainous roads dodging moose. We can smile and remember that we are not alone.

Wow, did I drift on that opening.... sorry! I am a writer. Anyways.... today, rather than sit outside on the frigid bench-sometimes alone (my coworkers have dwindled in number radically over the past few months)-I decided to sit out in my car. First I had another coworker check the oil in my car. It was discovered yesterday that it was very low and that something was wrong. I just had it changed a few months ago. I wonder if the troubles only wait for the next one to be dealt with.... He noticed that it was still low and leaking. We also noticed that the van next to mine had a flat tire. I smiled to myself sadly, knowing that I was not alone in my army of items to be fixed. I at least could get home right after work! The temperature was cold, though not as bad as it had been lately, though the wind made it so it would have been difficult to stand outside for long. Most of us seek shelter in our cars on days like this. Though others tend to brave the fierce "wheel of Death" as they call the food vending machines inside. I am not normally hungry at lunch. I have been struggling to maintain my farm and my children on a meager budget and have had to replace a few major items. I had learned to conserve on my end of the list by not eating until supper each day. I save the money for the girls lunches and a large meal at the end of the day. Since I bought my farm I love the idea of owning things the old fashioned way. I have paid off all of my college debts, and most of the bills and dwindle them down further. I do not live on credit cards and live only on what I earn. Our lifestyle is simple, though very secure. Our home is small, though warm and happy. Our farm sustains most of our needs and I have a lot stored from our garden for the winter months. I have learned to eat when I am hungry-not because it is time for a meal. In the spring and summer-I eat a lot more since I am working outside on the farm and my body demands more sustenance. In the winter, the work is mainly indoors and requires a lot less energy. Thus, my lack of meals during the day.

I went out to my car to check the oil. As soon as the door was shut the cold wind was almost forgotten, I turned on my car for the music. We have very few stations that survive way up here and one of them is a classic rock station that just happened to be on at the time. Sometimes a station will come in clear and then you pass to the other side of the hill and lose it-you get used to it and tend to listen to CD's more often as a result. After this long introduction, you are probably wondering where this will lead.

The song was Dashboard Light by Meatloaf and it was played very low since I was talking with a co-worker who just happened to join me for lunch conversation in the shelter of my car. The conversation was wonderful as it usually is and the song played low in the background. I don't think he noticed-but I did-but only for while because I enjoyed the company. That song took a hold on me since it had been years since I had heard it and found it funny of when it was noticed. During the day I thought about that song and the precious memory that it had brought back to the surface. It is getting hazy and it was a brief moment in time when it was forever etched in my mind. It was not what you think-but something truly wonderful that had occurred along with hearing this song that it had opened the doors to my mind and the world.

Now you are thinking-Dashboard Light? How ever could that particular song-other than what it is about- bring about something so profound. I will tell you.

Years ago, in the fall of 1989 as a matter of fact, I was 19 years old. No, I am not timeless (though I always tell my children I am)-now you know. When I was 19 I had dropped out of college to travel Europe (I did return to college after that trip)-it was my lifelong dream to travel and to see the world. That will be another blog because I naturally had many adventures over there-even though years old by now. I went to Europe for many weeks and one part of that trip ended up in Venizia (Venice, Italy)....

Now, to think about a beautiful warm day while sitting in a car-sheltering from the elements with a coworker who is clearly entertaining.... well that's just me-to be polite I went back into that conversation with him and returned to my memory of that warm tranquil days later on, of what had happened around this song twenty years ago.

That day myself and two other girls from Australia were sunning ourselves lazily on the docks of the island where the main canals were. We had walked around that ancient island and got lost on purpose and found a delightful restaurant and purchased a pizza for 8,000 lira and then lounged on the docks to rest our weary travel-worn bodies. The buildings that I had seen in a thousand movies smiled hazily though the sun at our wonderment of actually being here. The famous tall green shutters thrown open to catch the same sun that we dozed under contentedly. Whenever I travel I walk a lot and it had caught up to us in that moment. It was so warm, the sun was streaming down on us at just the perfect rate as to lull us to fall on the docks while we waited for the water taxi. I can still hear the sound of the pigeons that flocked out of the Piazza St. Michael's from the tourists' shuffling. Time could have stood still in that moment-bringing us back with it to the history that surrounded us. Gondola's drifted by us and the smells of fine Italian pastries wafted out to our sunburned noses. (Odd, since the day before we were on a Mount Jungfrauloch in Switzeland skiing.) There were a few others, but the three of us broke boundaries and lounged wearily on the wooden docks waiting for the taxi to bring us back to the Lido Island where they had the tour hostel where we were were staying.

The taxi's normally sit 58 people as we were told and when it arrived we had to split up for a seat-it was so full. It started out as a normal boat ride. I sat there and noticed conversations from every language possible. I heard English, French, German, Chinese and so forth. It was almost dizzying and confusing to my tired mind. I was surrounded by people and felt so alone in that one moment. And then I heard in the background that someone had a radio. It was barely perceptible at first since it was lost among so many voices-though gradulally it was noticed-obviously by not only myself. It was playing a song- Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. It was funny because I cannot recall who had actually started it, but when I felt so alone-I gained comfort in a familiar song. A song that I had sung in the past with my friends-now thousands of miles away. Someone started to sing along and then slowly-others joined. I do not know how long that boat ride was-but in record time the boat had divided and people who were separated by language all of a sudden broke out with the song. Men Against women-laughing and singing them in perfect unison! I had no idea how famous this song was , but I joined in as loud as we all had become. It was truly wonderful singing a song with perfect strangers. That was one of the first moments in time when I realized how small this world really is. By the end of the song-languages had melted and were almost screaming this song and laughing in the beat provided and in the confines of the small water taxi. We-complete strangers had shared a moment that I hope remained in their memories as long as it has for me.

I like recalling events like this when I feel alone sometimes. So, today in my car thousands of miles away when I heard that song again in the background I smiled for that moment now lost in time and no longer felt so alone. Plus the conversation was good and I knew that when I got home in my warm home heated by the wood stove-I would be able to recall this cherished memory so that it would never be lost. I would also have a new memory to add to it-years later. This world is not as large as we really think it is- and that song is only one of the many proofs of this that I have had the privilege to witness. A song played as background that can bring so much to heart. A song that makes me laugh and smile with the memories that it creates. Oh, Meatloaf-had you any idea? "I really love that Rock and Roll!" To Eddie! lololol

So warm up and dont forget the meatloaf-even after 20 years....