Greetings from Cheddahville, Maine-ayuh!

Today is the first day of blog-land and I have no idea what to write... Only that people who know me tell me that I should write about my life-in that it somehow entertains them. Well, here goes. Today-no extra snow-just very, very cold! I have a farm as if you have not guessed yet and yes, there are sheep as well. 8 of them in fact and they are Icelandic. They are warm outside in the barn curled up with their electric blankets. I on the other hand have to break the ice just to use the outhouse! they just asked the other day for high speed Internet-and I only have dial up! Those sheep!

As you can see life here is certainly interesting. Just today I found out my ex-boyfriend stole all of the tools from my garage! And that he was married-not to my sheep! Anyways, he left behind the same sheep previously mentioned.

I also have a daughter in college. I woke up this morning to do the laundry and not only was the laundry basket missing, but the fabric softener as well! Now the cold here requires soft clothing since the sheep wont let me snuggle with them. I was very upset and called her and left her a message that she had to call me to deal with the family emergency (I really just wanted to blame her for this horrible theft)! She called four hours later to ask for ten dollars! Imagine if someone had died! Well, after that when I went food shopping (I have to take the dog sled into town 50 miles out) I discovered that the dogs were unusually soft in that they had found the frozen fabric softener in the trunk of the Chrysler sled-the fabric softener was left there the week before from my last shopping expedition.

There is always something happening in this small tundra town of Maine. I have lived here five years now and will never be considered a Mainer. I am told that you have to be here at least three generations. I am not only from "Away", I am a dreaded "Flatlander" or "Mass----".

I did what most 'Flatlanders" have done and wanted to get out of, well Mass. I searched on the Internet and found my farm in a town that I never heard of. "Perfect!" I screamed and sold the house and dragged my three daughters and two cats up to Maine. Now here I am two dogs, 7 cats (minus one), 8 sheep later --and still cold!!!

I have learned the strange local language here like; dooryard, skiddah, sideboard, ayuh, lobstah, chowdah. I have learned that you can pahk the skiddah in the dooryahd, but not on the sideboard. I had learned the other day when my tires were stiff, that cah tires freeze at -25 degrees-ayuh! Also, they call it a Maine accent-but it really is a twangy Boston accent (my Mainer friend sitting next to me is ready to beat me up right now!!!-ayuh). I have gotten lost in my backyard many times and am still hoping for someone to map it out for me-with out getting me lost further! I also found out that here, if someone is mean-I have a really big yard to lose them in-permanently! And have threatened to get pigs! See, here no one would notice, they would just think I like a lot of porkchops! You see I am the dreaded Flatlander and they love to torment me. But, I am tough now and I am learning how to live up here.

There have been so many adventures since I have been up here and I have learned a lot! I moved up here in the preverbial "soccer Mom minivan" and now have used it to transport my sheep (held securely in the back by whomever I can bribe with free chowdah) and hay-you can fit 10 bales in the back of a Ford Windstar! Yea!

I also had to mention that the the realtor never mentioned the Maine State bird to us. We had no idea about the "BLACK FLIES". Now my front porch is safely screened in with duct tape. I had learned from my neibah two valuable lessons. 1) That it is duct tape and not duck tape and 2) "If you can't duct it chuck it!".

Ayuh for now